So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
