Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
