sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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