I just cut my nipple shaving
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
