please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
