The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
