I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
