i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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