dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
