My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
