Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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