"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
