Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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