eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
As shirtless as possible
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
