woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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