I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
