you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
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I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
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I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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