evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
