Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
