your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize