So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
