I must be too annoying 4 u.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
