Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize