your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
