Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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