This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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