while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
