let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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