No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize