Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
