Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
