I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
