the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
