she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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