I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
