Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
