I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
