mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
