I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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