Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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