i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize