Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize