everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
