I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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