my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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