i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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