weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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