I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Your cock deserves a montage
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Randomize
