ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
