i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
whose parrot is this?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
