debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
