before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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