i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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