imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
