I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
