Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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