Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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