i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
