When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
