my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
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I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
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I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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