the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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